Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
