Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
