I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
