I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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