ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize