You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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