there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
