so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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