carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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