If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
