Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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