It's like God shit irony all over that family
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
