Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
