if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
