Christians are straight up FREAKS
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
