too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
