weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
