i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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