I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
