Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
