Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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