your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize