Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
