Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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