this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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