You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
