conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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