I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
