He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
