That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
