Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
