Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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