i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
