clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if only i could text you this smell
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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