just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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