you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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