Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
