i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
