Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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