every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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