I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
