He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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