At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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