It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
