I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize