New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
