Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
