I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
