i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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