He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
